I know it been awhile since I last wrote, but I apologize for coming back pissed off.

This morning I would like to talk about grudges. Now, us men and women have done things that has mad someone at us or us mad at them. Whether it was a repeated thing or not. As an example, myself for instant. I “LOVE” my fiance to death. I would do anything for her. Get her what she wanted if it was in my power. I wouldnt want to change that for the world. Now, even though i love her with all my heart and soul, i went astray a few times during our relationship. I regret that truly because i hurt her deeply emotionally and maybe mentally. Who knows. She has taken me back almost every time. (I am not bragging about this). A situation happened in one of our arguements, things were said etc,etc,etc. We broke up. We ended up getting back together a few months later, but because of that her trust for me was obliterated. No matter what i could be doing that doesnt invovle infidelity with talking to people, if a text or something said feels outta place the first question asked is am
i cheating. Now, i have been trying my hardest and best daily to prove that i love her, wanna be with her, marry her, and grow grey and old till my dying day. The more i do to prove that the more it becomes harder and harder to prove. You cant change the they think. You can only show and convince them to see and witness with their own eyes that you are doing what you need to be do. Yes, i should have been doing that along from the beginning, but we are all humans. We make mistakes. I have asked myself many times over if i should give up and move on in my life or if i should fight to prove to the woman i love that i would always love her eternally and that i am actually telling the truth and hiding nothing. I chose to fight for my relationship and i always will until that desicion is no longer mine to decide. The fact is grudges are a dangerous thing. It can hurt someone emotionally,mentally, and physically. However, it can also push away the ones who love you most till they
are non-existant anymore. So, if you cant let the grudges go or the one that means the world of life to you. Then, maybe we as humans should start to choose one or the other. It may not be a decision anyone will ever have to decide between, but maybe in the end whatever ever one we as people may choose; maybe it was for the best. No matter if it gonna hurt us. Just for a little while.