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I am here to announce my conviction of hurting the one person that was always there. Always showed me undying love. A person who never gave up on me. Who was always grateful for everything I did for her. I broke her heart and everything else. I am not proud of this whatsoever. I am ashamed by my actions. Ashamed of the fucked up things I said to her. Things you don’t say to someone you love, who is your life. I lied, cheated and did other things I’m not proud of. I don’t want anyone else for the reason that I was only happy with her. I wouldn’t be able to love another like I love her. My love for her is undying and eternal and will not give that up for anyone. I failed her when she needed me most. She did everything she could for me. She was always there. She is innocent no matter what I have learned and applied to my life a lot since of break up. I do miss her everyday and continuely love her. But I hurt her so bad that I can’t even prove to her what I have accomplished. It all seems worthless to me. Like I did it for nothing. I pushed her away when I never wanted that, but to her my actions didn’t show that. I have no way of proving it to her. I don’t know through all the anger and hatred if you honestly see that I want to prove myself to her even if she never wanted me ever. She made it so hard to wake up and go about my day without thinking about her. Songs that I play sometimes repeat over and over cause its how I feel. I agree with a song that explains how I feel. Been feeling. Will I ever see salvation? No, I am forever damned. I have to get use to it. For lost everything in my world as it crumbled down on me. I see her pain and can empathize and put myself in her shoes. I wouldn’t want that done to me. But she made it hard for me to breathe.

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