(What way to explain my mind and the maze or it, than journaling)
As you noticed, I’ve been lost in my mind. Its been all lot to think about. Lately, I’ve been going through a hard time reliving memories of my life. Things, behaviors, actions and decision have been poorly chosen. Somethings are unfixable and some are possibly fixable. I have hated myself for the past things I’ve done and the people & person I have hurt. I never stop everything to see and replay the situations in my mind or thought to put myself in other people’s shoes. However, now that I have i have seen things a lot clearer and have a full grasp of the consquences and effects of my choices, actions and behaviors. I see things for what they really are and what they are not. Its easy to say you wanna turn over a new leaf, but it take the dedication and motivation to become a better person for yourself. Lately, I been replacing the bad decisions, behaviors and actions for better choices, better actions, but to be better than what I was. Its not an easy job. However, with my new dedication and motivation and my better choosing of decisions that I know is bad for me. I will become better because I “will not” continuing doing the same repeatative actions and decisions. And I’m not stopping myself of accomplish that let alone I will not fall to influence of things,people, and places that will lead me astray from the right and responsible things and responsible change. This my funeral of the old negative life of me and the rebirth of the new me will continue on doing the right things and only the right things. Good bye, journal.
Songs listened day to day as I continue changing for the better:
1) Breaking the habit by Linkin’ Park
2) My Funeral by Dope
3) Bring Me To Life by Evanesence